an open letter to my IT band (flattery will get you everywhere)


You look great.  Did you lose weight?  You're just...glowing.  Strong.  Fabulous.  No, seriously, something is different about you.  Wow, those shoes are fantastic!!  Manolos?  And your necklace, it's gorgeous!

Are there your brothers and sisters?  What, your children?  Not possible.  All 11 of them?  You don't look a day over 17!  No, really, they're all yours?  They're so well-behaved.  Beautiful little angels.  Which one is going to Harvard?  Oh, that's all right, he'll like Stanford better.  

So, where are we on the running, hot stuff?  Mmmm hmmm?  Yeah?  No, your ass looks great.  No, seriously.  You look like a clothes-hanger.  Not everyone can wear white transparent hot pants, but girl, you own it.

Like, I KNOW.  

Like, no WAY.

Seriously?  Like, seriously? think you want to try some running tomorrow?  Maybe just a touch?  


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