in the doldrums
When I was little, I loved to read. I'd read anything I could get my sticky little paws on. One of my favorite books was "The Phantom Tollbooth." Milo comes home from school one day and finds a package in his room. In it is a map and a tollbooth. He drives through and ends up on the road to Expectations. However, he stops paying attention and ends up in the Doldrums, where there is no color and thinking and laughing are strictly prohibited.
This week, I've been in the Doldrums. I've been sleeping a lot, and not really eating all that much, and not going out except to the gym, and just been feeling kind of blah and down. What I'd really like to do is hibernate for a week or two, and wake up to a land where everything is better, where I can run and feel alive again. I had 2 5K's on the schedule for this weekend. After the past few weeks, I was hoping to walk tonight's, but doc says it's a no go because of the cortisone. I'm probably going to end up in the gym, trying to get stronger and more balanced so this jimmy-rigged bargain-basement body can get back on the streets.
I had a long talk with my best girl on Tuesday, and kind of fell apart, and that strangely helped, and seeing my ortho and feeling proactive about attacking this helped, but I just can't get out of this place. I feel like I'm an intruder in the running community right now, like I have nothing positive to talk about or contribute, so I should just stay quiet. And this will probably seem silly a week from now, or a month from now, but right now it's all very real.
Hopefully Tock (below) will rescue me soon and we can head for the Castle in the Air.