Wednesday, March 31, 2010

you're never gonna keep me down

I have a lot of running music that brings back very distinct memories/moments.  When I first became a runner, I had no idea what I was doing.  I would just hop on the treadmill and run until I felt like I was going to keel over.  20 minutes (of running! no stopping!) was a huge accomplishment.  And one of the songs that fit my pace perfectly was "Survivor" by Destiny's Child.  I didn't even particularly like the song, I just liked that my feet slapped the belt with the beat.  Most days I would listen to that on repeat the whole time, and then let me mini-disc player (hey, it was 1999) continue on while I did some other things in the gym.  

Now, whenever I hear that songs, it reminds me of that time of my life, specifically the spring of 2002 when I was living in Indianapolis, student teaching, not really knowing anyone because I was only there for 4 months, going to the gym after teaching all day, eating mini-meals in my studio apartment with the bed that flipped out of the wall, rushing home on Thursday nights to push play + record on the VCR so I could watch "Friends."   But now the lyrics mean so much more, "I'm a survivor/I'm not gonna give up/I'm not gonna stop/I'm gonna work harder/I'm a survivor/I'm gonna make it/I will survive/keep on surviving."  

Later in 2002, I was injured for the first time.  I didn't really know how to deal with it, and it kept me from running again until 2007.  On and off throughout that time I would spend a few weeks in PT here or there, but it wasn't until the beginning of 2006 that I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to run again.  I spent a lot of that time angry and frustrated.  And the first time I hopped back on that treadmill, "Survivor" was what I listened to.  It's on most of my running mixes, and whenever it comes up, I remember how awful it was to not be able to run, and I survived that, and it gives me some extra oomph when I'm feeling tired, or my foot/IT/hip is hurting and I want to give up.  Because at least now, I can run.  Even though things hurt and something isn't exactly right and I'm still slow - I can get out there. 

Last spring, I was injured again.  I spent about 9 months not running while some really crappy Army doctors tried to figure out what was wrong while I sat around on my ass, getting fat and being grumpy.  I'm a runner, how can it be this hard?  And finally, at the end of December, I just started running again.  I made a bunch of new playlists, and "Tubthumping" ended up in there.  I don't know that it's ever been in a playlist before, but the first time it shuffled through, it really struck me.  Last year was a really hard year.  My entire life kind of imploded - my relationship, my job, my running.  It was really difficult to get out of bed every morning.  I wanted to give up.  And now, a year later, I'm so much happier.  So much stronger.  I know that it's hard for non-runners to understand this, but I need to run. It's like breathing, like needing water and sunshine.  

"I get knocked down/but I get up again/you're never gonna keep me down."

This is not my power song, this is the anthem of my life.  Let that motherfucker ring.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

food is....fuel?

Over the past 2 weeks I've realized that I have a completely different relationship with food when I am running.  

When I'm injured, I basically feel as if anything I put in my mouth is me being a fat pig and giving in.  The idea that you need calories to survive has been completely wiped from my brain.  Everything that goes in makes me feel fat and slow.  The first two days home from the hospital I basically survived on toast.  Then I tried to get back to my regular eating habits, but with a few extra doses of potato chips.  Ugh.  I felt guilty about almost everything I was eating, and had to try really hard not to weigh myself every 5 minutes.

But when I'm running, it's a totally different story.  First of all, I don't feel guilty for eating.  Even that slice of BBQ chicken pizza is okay, because a) I ran 5 miles and b) I am eating a much more balanced diet.  And that's the other side of it - when I'm exercising, I want to eat more healthy food.  I'm a lot more careful about what goes in, because I want to have energy to run.  

Now, I know my eating habits aren't perfect.  I still eat way too much bread and cheese and not enough protein and veggies.  But the more active I am, the more I'm trying to change what I eat.  

I've made gradual changes to my diet over the past 5 years.  I used to skip breakfast, or have a diet coke and a donut.  I would be cranky and starving by lunchtime, and then generally overeat for the rest of the day.  Now, I eat breakfast every day.  I have soy milk and cheerios, or wheat toast with peanut butter, and usually a banana.  

I also gave up caffeine about 2.5 years ago.  Giving it up was rough.  I've never liked coffee, but I was drinking a lot of diet coke every day.  When I first gave it up, I would get a massive headache around 1pm (just when I would usually have my lunch-time diet coke) and then get really tired for the rest of the afternoon.  I didn't realize how dependent I was on it until I stopped drinking it.  It took about two months to become un-addicted, but I think I sleep better, and I think my moods are generally better.  I still drink it occasionally - I'll have half of a tall mocha if I'm driving and it's late and I'm tired, or if I have to get up extra early for a race.  An interesting thing is that I'm now really sensitive to it - if I drink iced tea with caffeine in it by accident, my heart starts pounding like crazy and I'm really wired.  

I've added healthy snacks into my diet.  Potato chips still sneak in, but not nearly as much as 2-3 years ago.  I could sit down with a book and wipe out a family size bag of chips.  I've been much better about eating granola bars, and lately I've been trying to have nuts and pretzels as a snack.  Ice cream also climbs in my mouth every so often, but the portions are definitely smaller and it's much less often.

I think I drink a lot less.  This hasn't really been a conscious effort, it's just kind of happened.  A year ago, I gave up drinking for Lent-slash-the 4-5 weeks preceding Shamrock, but when I got hurt, that went out the window.  2009 was really rough for a lot of reasons, and I think last spring was when I hit bottom.  I was probably drinking at least 5-6 days a week - that's a lot, to me.  But this fall/winter, I drank less and less, and while I am definitely still a social drinker, and definitely still have those oh-my-head-hurts mornings, it's much less often than it was a year ago.  For many reasons, this is a good thing (text message bill is smaller, less run-ins with the police, etc).  

Finding healthy quick ways to eat lunch is my current challenge.  I like Lean Pockets, but one leaves me hungry again in an hour.  It's so easy to just pop a frozen pizza in the oven while I'm working, but I need to do better than that.  Some days I don't eat lunch at all, I just have a Luna Bar, and then I'm crabby at 5pm and overeat at dinner.  

Any suggestions?  What can I make for lunch that is a) tasty, b) quick, and c) not grilled cheese/baked potato/a frozen meal?

Monday, March 29, 2010

badonkadonk part II

So I bought new capris, they are agreeable with my ass/waist situation, the world rolls onwards.

However, I have the same problem with my Fuel Belt.  It doesn't like to stay put on my big-mama hips, but instead slides upwards until it is sitting on top of my hips, loose around my waist.  This means that the bottles are whacking me in the elbows every time I swing through.  Cinching it on my waist is too high and makes my stomach feel weird.  I've tried many different geographical locations, but it bounces around no matter what.  Usually I just deal with it, but after reading this review and this review of the iFitness belt, I thought I'd try one.

It doesn't bounce, or move, from where I strap it on.  I tried it with the pockets around front and around back and it doesn't move.  I love it!

My iPhone (which is STUCK inside it's case) fits really well in one pocket, and I can fit my ID/credit card, nuun, and a big handful of jelly beans in the other, and neither of the pockets are bulging.  I also love the fabric - it's really soft wet-suit type fabric, and I think part of the reason it doesn't bounce is that material doesn't slip against my capris.

I mostly bought it because I don't like running without my cell phone and some money, but it seems silly to use the Fuel Belt on short runs and none of my running clothes have enough room for the iPhone.  This is tiny enough that I can grab it even when I'm out for a short run, and my iPhone won't jump out and commit iPhone suicide on the sidewalk the way it did the ONE time I tried it in the pocket of a running hoodie.  I also like that during races I have a place to stash everything without having to tie it all to my shoe laces, the pull-cord on my tights, etc.

I'll post some pictures of it next time I run, but overall I love it!

badonkadonk part I

I have Polish and Czechoslovakian ancestors (I promise, this is relevant).

When you think about Czech people a hundred years ago, it conjures up a lot of images.  All the female stereotypes are generally something like: a woman in an apron carrying a pig under each arm and a baby on her back while whipping up some tasty curds and whey with one hand and crushing meal into flour with the other.  I like to imagine that my ancestors lived on potatoes, milk from the goat outside, and tons of tasty fresh vegetables.  They had to walk miles and miles over hilly countryside to do things like help the babas get birthed and trade corn meal for salt licks.  Generally you were either a singing minstrel, a shepherd, or a peasant.

None of this lends towards, "Thanks, genetics, for the super thin thighs!"

Now, I made peace with my body a long time ago, so this isn't another rant.  I'm proud of my stallion legs (and even the badonkadonk) because those legs have brought me a long way.  They make hills easier (I think).  I can leg press over twice my weight.  I used to joke in college that people could set their beers down on my ass while they went to stand in the bathroom line.  And while I have wide hips, I have a pretty small waist, so men get to call me "curvy" and not piss me off.

However, it makes it pretty difficult to find shorts that I like to run in.  Generally, runners are shaped like clothes-hangers, which I am not.  When I finished college, I was in the best (?) shape of my life.  I was about 40 lbs lighter than I am right now.  In some places, I was too thin.  My arms were sticks.  You could see my ribs above my boobs.  But from my belly button to my knee caps, I was carrying that peasant ancestry around.  

When I run in shorts, no matter how thin and/or fit I am, I spend about half the time I'm running a) yanking the bottom of the shorts down from where they have been dragged upwards by my thighs and b) yanking the waistband down from where it has inched up, trying desperately to get away from my hips.  I've tried long shorts.  I've tried super short-shorts (sorry, Alexandria).  I've tried basketball shorts ('sup).  Everything moves around.  This may be part of why I love winter running, because tights can't ride up.  I've thought about spandex/booty shorts, but I don't think I could do that to the planet.  I tried on a running skirt once.  Do you know what big thighs look like in a running skirt?  HA HA HA.  

I generally run in capris in the summer and tights in the winter.  My winter running tights are CW-X, which means that it takes me 15 minutes to get them on and I'm sweating like a pig, but my legs adore them.  They are tights and have the fancy "hold things in the right place" stripes and I love them.  I have one pair and in many places, you can see right through them because they've been washed so many times (my running buddy always points this out when I wear undies with words/pictures).  I haven't tried the capri-version yet (note to self: rob bank).  

The capris that I have are either Nike or Champion or Random Yoga Brand, and they feel loose after 4 months of tights.  I went to Target last week and saw that there were some new Champion capris, so I bought two pairs.  Now, generally I don't mess around and just buy the L.  The first pair I picked up in L were MASSIVE.  The M still looked huge, so I picked a S off the rack.  (No, I don't try things on, that takes all the surprise out of life).  On the rack right next to those were a slightly different version (colors instead of grey/black), so I picked up a S.  It looked teeny-weeny, so I put it back and went home with the M.  

Got home, Saturday morning rolled around, time to run.  I pulled the pretty color capris (M) out of the bag and tried to pull them on.  "HAHAHA," said my thighs, "surely you must be joking!"  I figured I'd try on the S pair before heading back across the street to exchange them (I live about 300 yards from Target, it's dangerous).  The S pair fit perfectly.  Whhaaa??  Now, I understand that from brand to brand, sizes vary a lot, but this is two slightly different pairs of capris from the same brand. Strange.  

I edited out my stomach.  You're welcome.

Anyhow, I kept the S, ran in them, and really like them.  They are a bit low-cut, so the waistband fights a little bit with the hips, but not enough to bother me while I'm running.  They also have this cute little zip pocket that exactly fits my car key fob thing.  I'll probably go back and buy a few more pairs after my next paycheck.  Success!!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

there's the crappy run I was looking for...

I decided to run with my bf and roommate this morning - they were only planning on a short one (2 miles).  It's cold and gloomy here, and I really wanted to stay in bed.

First mile was a little quick, and my IT band felt a little tight, so we stopped to stretch.  During the second mile, my lungs gave up.  It wasn't hilly and we weren't running that fast, but I just couldn't take a deep breath.  I sent the boys home and stopped and walked and stretched for a few minutes.  I really just wanted to be back in bed.  When I felt I could, I slowly ran the last 1/2 mile home.

Total: 2.5 miles/24:48/avg. pace 9:55

I'm still happy that I can run, and my shoulder bothered me a lot less today, but I think I'm going to take it easy the rest of the day.  Hopefully I get over this in the next two weeks before the Cherry Blossom 10-miler.

Saturday, March 27, 2010


I ran today!!!

When I woke up, I was still on the fence - run today?  Run tomorrow?  Don't run ever again?  Chop my foot off and get one of those big springs?  But when I stood up out of bed - no pain.  Walked around all morning - no pain.  I texted my running buddy and we decided to head out for 5.  

The weather was my favorite running weather - sunny and 45 degrees.  We went out to the Mt. Vernon trail, parked at Belle Haven, and headed out on our usual 5-mile out-and-back.  About 10 steps in, I got a giant rock in my shoe.  Dumped, ran another 10 steps, and realized that something was yanking on my shoulder.  Turned out that "something" was a combination of my large-&-in-charge boobs and a stretched-out sports bra.  On every step, the right strap of the sports bra was being yanked downwards - causing some discomfort in my shoulder but not pain.  So I ran the entire 5 miles with my right arm in the claw position, preventing the tatas from ripping my tiny surgery-holes apart.  No discomfort this way, but I'm sure I looked a bit weird.

We went out very easy - I wasn't sure what to expect.  About 2 miles in, there are some gentle hills, and then a gradual upward climb to a bridge.  The hills really took it out of me, which was surprising - my lungs felt really tight and small, which I think is still a residual effect of the anesthesia & nerve block.  The anesthesiologist warned me that deep breathing would feel strange for a few days after the surgery, and this is really the first time my heart rate has been above, oh, 50, since.  We stopped at the water fountain, stretched, and headed back.  It was great to have girl running talk again.  :)  I really felt like I hit my stride at about the 3.5 mile mark, and by the time we got to Belle Haven, I felt amazing.  We headed home, but I seriously thought about joining my bf and roommate when they went out for 3 later in the day.  I decided instead to take a brilliant nap under the electric blanket with the puppy.

It's nap time, Mama!

Total: 5.1 miles/53:45/avg. pace 10:43

A few hours later, body inventory says: shoulder feels fine, foot feels exactly the same (a teeny tiny bit sore), IT band isn't complaining, mind feels clear.  I've spent the past week and a half feeling like a racehorse straining at the start gate, and while I still feel this way, 5 miles went a long way towards calming my head down.   

Pretty happy to be out today (sorry about the stomach shot, egads)

I've gone through stretches of great runs and tough runs in my life, and the week before surgery everything felt amazing - the regular run, the speed run, the long run.  I was worried that I'd take 10 days off and everything would feel like crap again when I came back, but other than being a little more tired than usual and a bit short of breath, everything feels great!!  And I'm SO thrilled to be back on my feet!

In other breaking news, I bought 2 new pairs of Champion capris (I have a hate-hate relationship with running shorts) at Target and my new fancy-pants iFitness belt showed up today.  I love shiny new running gear.  More on these tomorrow!

Friday, March 26, 2010

freaking out

I think I'm over-reacting a bit.

I'm now on day 6 of being in the air cast (prescribed 10).  I was hoping my foot would have calmed down enough to get back out on the streets this weekend.  I had tentatively planned a 5-miler with my running buddy for Saturday (or Sunday) morning, and I really want there to be no soreness, twinges, tightness, anything before I go back out.  But to me, on day 6, it feels exactly the same - little pangs occasionally throughout the day, a teeny tiny bit of soreness right where the tendon attaches to the bone, and ice feels good.  No major pain at any time.  But those little pangs really freak me out - similar to taper twinges, where I feel something tiny and in my head turn it into my leg needing to be amputated.

The reality is I'm afraid that if I go back out too soon, I'll end up making it worse.  But I've been running on it for about 2.5 months, and it hasn't gotten worse - and I actually think it's gotten a bit better.  If I hadn't been taking this week off for surgery I probably would have just kept running on it.  On the pain scale, it's about a 1 when I'm running, and maybe a 2-3 the rest of the time.  Just enough to let me know something isn't exactly right.  

The other (other) side of that is maybe this will be like my IT band - something I need to ice after I run and make sure to stretch and strengthen the right ways, but I can run on it as long as I'm smart.  Maybe this is all an over-reaction to a teeny tiny pain because I'm just so scared of losing months and months to being injured again, when actually this is something I can live and run with.  Maybe I am just driving myself crazy thinking about it and should just go back to bed.  AHHH.

Mama, you're driving me crazy.

I'm trying to not panic.  I'm doing exactly what I was told - the big ibuproufen 3x a day, air cast every minute I'm awake, and not being on my feet a whole lot (I love working from home).  I'm just so impatient!  Heal!! Heal faster!!  Hurry up, foot, I'm aching to get off this couch!!  

Also, I'm going to try this pool running madness again this weekend.  Note to self: check W-L schedule so I don't show up during Screaming Naked Child Hour.  

Thursday, March 25, 2010

three things thursday

1. My puppy snores louder than most humans.  His favorite place to sleep while I'm working is with his nose under my right arm, snoring away.  He's there right now.  He also dreams a lot, and his feet twitch and he makes like whiny-snorty sounds.  Sometimes he gets the hiccups while he's asleep.  He's pretty silly.

2. A good friend of mine found out yesterday that she has a stress fracture in her foot after running Shamrock last weekend.  This strikes a weird chord with me - I got a stress fracture in my foot last winter training for Shamrock, and ended up missing the race.  I really feel her pain on this one!!  She's mostly annoyed about the money she's losing out on the races she's signed up for in the next 6 weeks, so to help her out, I'm going to buy her Cherry Blossom bib.  :)  :)  :)  
Last year I had a Cherry Blossom bib, but ended up running the 5K instead of the 10M because of that same stress fracture.  This year, I missed the Cherry Blossom lottery, and passed on several chances to buy bibs because I wasn't sure how long my shoulder recovery was going to take, and my first words to my doc last week when he told me I could run in a week were, "Argh, I could've run the Cherry Blossom 10M!!"  I'm sad for my girl that she's going to miss this race (and her first trail marathon - bummer), but I'm glad the universe gave me another chance to run this race.

3. I need to stop. eating. potato chips. for. lunch.  Potato chips are not a vegetable.  I have lots of frozen and fresh fruits and veggies in my pantry, and I think (okay, I know) even a baked potato would be better than potato chips!  Today I will eat real food for lunch.  

Luna bar addiction

Lemon crisp Luna bars are my new addiction.  I've been eating the Kashi chocolate-raspberry bars for months (they have crack in them, nom) but tried the Luna bars because they were on sale at Target.  NOM NOM NOM.  

However, I don't think they are supposed to be combined with potato chips for a "balanced lunch."  Fail.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

doc says...

Went to the ortho for my 6-day check-up this morning.  Shoulder report: range of motion is good, still clicking, he wants to see me again in 3 weeks.  He said I can do "whatever I want" until then, except swim.  The foot is taking its sweet time, but he said that I can run as soon as it feels fine.  I've got another 5 days in my prescribed 10, so this weekend may be out.  He said that I can pool run/recumbent bike as of now, though, which is great.

We talked about possibly doing a sprint distance tri this summer ("sure, go ahead") and a half-marathon in late summer/fall ("a half marathon is a lot of training, you know" - says the man with multiple Chicago Marathon/Boston Marathon/Olympic-distance Tri medals all over the wall), and all of that is a go, as long as my foot cooperates.  So good news all around.

On the flip side, driving the 25 minutes to the doctor left me nauseous, light-headed, and incredibly sleepy.  The drive home was more of the same, just with more shoulder pain, and I think my mid-afternoon nap may be a doozy.  I haven't taken any percocet since Monday, just the 800 ibuprofen, but I'm still sleeping a lot.  I'm also getting sore from a lack of moving around - aches and pains from sitting still, how hilarious!  I'm looking forward to another few days of deep healing, and then hopefully I can get moving again!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

post-surgery day 5, giant air boot, day 3.

It's been 5 days since I had surgery on my shoulder.  The first two days I spent almost entirely in bed, asleep, letting my body do some scary deep healing.  Sunday morning I was able to get up, shower (!!), and get dressed.  So Sunday was my first day in the boot (out of a probable 10).  I've only left the house a few times, but I've been making an effort to get up, shower, dress, and move around during the day, instead of laying in bed all day.  I also think it's better for my foot to be in the air cast as much as possible, especially since I want it to heal magically by this Saturday (when I think I'll be shoulder-cleared to run).

I've been trying to drink a good amount of soy milk every day, take vitamins, and eat more fruit & veggies - anything to help my body heal.  Sometimes I fail miserably (re: yesterday's lunch of luna bar and potato chips, last night's after-dinner two scoops of ice cream).

I'm also still taking a pretty serious mid-day nap, which is okay with me.  I've been doing all my shoulder exercises all day throughout the day, not just the prescribed 2-4 times.  My doc said the more movement, the better, so that's what I'm doing.  

Silly things after surgery:

1. It is impossible to brush my teeth with my non-dominant hand.  I've gotten the toothbrush in my nose at least 10 times.
2. It's really hard to take off pants with only one hand.  Especially when you're really in a hurry because you have to pee.
3. My back hurts from sitting up straight on the couch (instead of my normal work posture, slumped in my jammies or cross-legged).
4. My neck hurts, partially from sleeping on my back (I'm a tummy sleeper), but partially from the nerve block.  Also, I have a HUGE vampire-esque hickey from the nerve block.  Be jealous, Twilight-ers.
5. I'm having a really good time thinking of silly things to say about why I'm in a knee-high air cast and have a bum shoulder.  "I was attacked by my dog (5 month old golden retriever)."  "Sleep-walked into a gang fight."  (I have a problem with sleep-walking) "Sex injury."  "Lost a fight with a pack of ninjas." "Sometimes I just fall down a lot."
6. Foods that are impossible to eat/serve with one hand: frozen pizza, ice cream, any kind of drink in a container.  Foods that are easy to eat/serve with one hand: fruit, granola bars, water.  Universe, what are you saying?
7. The nerve block also gave me a pretty serious boob job.  On one side (I don't really need it on either side).  I wonder when that swelling will go down?
8. I'm really afraid that I'm going to stand up and step on my puppy with the heavy air-casted foot and really hurt him.  He sleeps everywhere.
9. Ice is my boyfriend.  BEST BOYFRIEND EVERRRRRR.
10. It's REALLY hard to get a bra off with only one hand.  I have a lot more admiration for the boyfriend I had my sophomore year of college......!!
11. My puppy doesn't like it when I throw his toys with my left hand, because sometimes they go where I'm looking, and sometimes they go into the china cabinet, or into the next room, or under the coffee table, and those are all places where I can't reach to pull it out after I toss it in there, either.

I go to my ortho tomorrow morning.  Keep your fingers crossed that I get the shoulder all-clear to run this weekend....then we're just waiting on the foot to catch up!


Since I can't write about the amazing run I had last night or about how I ran hills until I puked over the edge of the WW bridge (yeah, I miss it), I'll write about my horribly trashy running music.

I'm one of those runners that can't race without music....I know it's going to kick me in the ass one day, when I sign up for a race that won't let me, but so far, so good.  The only times I do well without music are when I'm running with a buddy and we can talk each other to death...but even then, during a race, I'll have one ear plugged in.

Here's my current list.  Disclaimer: yes, I am embarrassed about my girly music!  And yes, I LOVE IT!!!

I saw a picture of Ke$ha on one of the celeb-news blogs I read a couple weeks after adding "Tik Tok" to my running music, and went, "omg.  THAT'S who sings that song?"  Ugh.  Girl has too much unstructured free time.  If I put on chapstick when I get up in the morning, it's a lot of makeup.

I'm also OCD enough that I have different lists for different amounts of time.  That list is a 35-minute run, but I also have a 45-minute list, a 60-minute list, and then a really long list of all the running songs I love that I can shuffle through for long runs.  

I'm also one of those people that can listen to one song over and over and over again...This drives people.  CRAZY.  Almost without exception, those are the result of my OCD running habits.  I mean, honestly.  Who would listen to a Kelly Clarkson song 120 times if they weren't running and it didn't perfectly match their pace?  And Stevie is amazing, but, 188 times though, "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" would be a bit excessive, if it wasn't the sole song I trained to the first month I came back after knee surgery.  I like Britney as much as the next person (shut up, you know you love her too), but I'd have to stab myself in the eye if I listened to any of her music 172 times and wasn't running.

I have noticed that I use music less of a crutch on longer runs.  During quick speedy runs, I listen hard to the changes in pace and use it to motivate me, but during longer runs, I more just let the music wash over me.  And when I'm coming back from time off, I need the music more to distract my body from the pain of dragging my out-of-shape ass all over Alexandria.

So that's my music.  What do you listen to?  What high-energy songs should I add into this mess?

Monday, March 22, 2010

um, i was reading that

puppies are silly things.  

retaining water???

I weighed myself on Wednesday night.  I don't like weighing myself, because then I start to become obsessed with the numbers and would end up weighing myself 400 times a day.  But I wanted a "pre-surgery" idea of how much I weighed, so I could try and keep things in check while I am "sitting on my ass" (a direct quote from my doctor) for about two weeks.

Thursday I had surgery, and spent the rest of the day puking.  I think I managed to keep maybe one bite of toast inside me.

Friday morning I decided to weigh myself, figuring that I'd probably lost weight due to 24+ hours of no food going through.  But the Wii Fit said I'd gained EIGHT pounds.  Whaaaatttt??? 

A few hours of frantic googling later, I think I'm just swollen and retaining water from surgery.  This morning I weighed myself and I'm only up 3 of those 8 pounds.  Maybe this is the universe's way of discouraging me from living on ice cream and diet ginger ale until I can run again.  Yikes.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

now that i'm healing....where am i racing?

Now that I've got a handle on how long it will be until I can run again, I can start putting some races in the calendar.  I planned 2 late-April 5K's, but without a "return" date, I didn't want to plan anything longer or sooner.  I'm sad now that I passed on that Cherry Blossom bib, but, ah well.

But now I'm looking for some (fairly local) races.  I'd like to get in a few 10K's before the weather is too disgusting.  And I'm starting to eye some of the bigger, more fun half marathons for later in the summer.  Hmmmmm.....

oh, mr. dreyfuss

Last night I dreamed that Richard Dreyfuss walked in on me in the shower. It was strange, I was just scrubbing away, and the sliding door opened (wait, where am I showering?) and there he was.

I think it might be time to stop taking the percocet before bed.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

being on the injured reserve list

I'm injured and not running again, but this time by choice.  What a difference it makes to my mental state.

Backing up...I've been semi-permanently injured twice in my life.  Once took me out of running for several years, and then again for about 9 months.  Being injured is frustrating.  I would see runners while I was driving around and start crying and want to drive my car up and over the curb.  Both times I had a "mysterious" injury that no one could figure out - of course, both times this was total crap, and I was just not going to the right doctors.  

Last year when I got hurt I decided to swim.  I hate swimming.  HATE IT.  I don't like water in my ears.  My nose.  I don't like jumping in the cold water and feeling like I'm going to drown if I stop and everyone is so much faster than me and then I go home and want to EAT EVERYTHING.  Why does chlorine make me hungry?  Anyhow, I started swimming while doctors started trying to figure out what was wrong with my foot ("there could be a very small spider in it."  "A spider?"  "sure.  let's try some fairy dust and send her back to work hahahaha" etc).  

So I started swimming and very soon realized that tiny little niggling pain I've sorta always ignored has turned into OMG WHAT IS THAT when I "pull" my right arm though.  After a few rounds with my othro who fixed my leg the first time ("ITBS?  You went to a doctor that's never heard of that???") he finally asks me - do I want a cortisone shot/see ya in 3 months or do I finally want to fix it?

So I decided to fix it.  He went in on Thursday with the TV-on-a-stick and the steak knife and presto-chango, I've got a fancy new shoulder.  But my fancy new shoulder means no running for a few weeks.  And my head is clear and I'm okay with that.  I'm still dying to get back out there, especially after the week of cramming that was oddly awesome just before I went under, but I'm calm and mostly reasonable about the healing process.

I like silly things

I'll start out with some silly things.  Everyone likes silly things, right?

I like my feet.

I like beer.

I like vibrating lobsters (hi Julie!!)

And other silly things....

Report non-humans??!

I like my feet.  I also like running, like I said.  I like reading about and talking about things like socks and hills and Gu and splits and all that other crazy stuff runners spend so much time talking about.  And for a long time, I couldn't run (more on this yaaawwwnn subject later), so I couldn't talk about all the STUFF.  But now I'm running again...

With some very cute help!