you're never gonna keep me down
I have a lot of running music that brings back very distinct memories/moments. When I first became a runner, I had no idea what I was doing. I would just hop on the treadmill and run until I felt like I was going to keel over. 20 minutes (of running! no stopping!) was a huge accomplishment. And one of the songs that fit my pace perfectly was "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. I didn't even particularly like the song, I just liked that my feet slapped the belt with the beat. Most days I would listen to that on repeat the whole time, and then let me mini-disc player (hey, it was 1999) continue on while I did some other things in the gym.
Now, whenever I hear that songs, it reminds me of that time of my life, specifically the spring of 2002 when I was living in Indianapolis, student teaching, not really knowing anyone because I was only there for 4 months, going to the gym after teaching all day, eating mini-meals in my studio apartment with the bed that flipped out of the wall, rushing home on Thursday nights to push play + record on the VCR so I could watch "Friends." But now the lyrics mean so much more, "I'm a survivor/I'm not gonna give up/I'm not gonna stop/I'm gonna work harder/I'm a survivor/I'm gonna make it/I will survive/keep on surviving."
Now, whenever I hear that songs, it reminds me of that time of my life, specifically the spring of 2002 when I was living in Indianapolis, student teaching, not really knowing anyone because I was only there for 4 months, going to the gym after teaching all day, eating mini-meals in my studio apartment with the bed that flipped out of the wall, rushing home on Thursday nights to push play + record on the VCR so I could watch "Friends." But now the lyrics mean so much more, "I'm a survivor/I'm not gonna give up/I'm not gonna stop/I'm gonna work harder/I'm a survivor/I'm gonna make it/I will survive/keep on surviving."
Later in 2002, I was injured for the first time. I didn't really know how to deal with it, and it kept me from running again until 2007. On and off throughout that time I would spend a few weeks in PT here or there, but it wasn't until the beginning of 2006 that I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to run again. I spent a lot of that time angry and frustrated. And the first time I hopped back on that treadmill, "Survivor" was what I listened to. It's on most of my running mixes, and whenever it comes up, I remember how awful it was to not be able to run, and I survived that, and it gives me some extra oomph when I'm feeling tired, or my foot/IT/hip is hurting and I want to give up. Because at least now, I can run. Even though things hurt and something isn't exactly right and I'm still slow - I can get out there.
Last spring, I was injured again. I spent about 9 months not running while some really crappy Army doctors tried to figure out what was wrong while I sat around on my ass, getting fat and being grumpy. I'm a runner, how can it be this hard? And finally, at the end of December, I just started running again. I made a bunch of new playlists, and "Tubthumping" ended up in there. I don't know that it's ever been in a playlist before, but the first time it shuffled through, it really struck me. Last year was a really hard year. My entire life kind of imploded - my relationship, my job, my running. It was really difficult to get out of bed every morning. I wanted to give up. And now, a year later, I'm so much happier. So much stronger. I know that it's hard for non-runners to understand this, but I need to run. It's like breathing, like needing water and sunshine.
"I get knocked down/but I get up again/you're never gonna keep me down."
Last spring, I was injured again. I spent about 9 months not running while some really crappy Army doctors tried to figure out what was wrong while I sat around on my ass, getting fat and being grumpy. I'm a runner, how can it be this hard? And finally, at the end of December, I just started running again. I made a bunch of new playlists, and "Tubthumping" ended up in there. I don't know that it's ever been in a playlist before, but the first time it shuffled through, it really struck me. Last year was a really hard year. My entire life kind of imploded - my relationship, my job, my running. It was really difficult to get out of bed every morning. I wanted to give up. And now, a year later, I'm so much happier. So much stronger. I know that it's hard for non-runners to understand this, but I need to run. It's like breathing, like needing water and sunshine.
"I get knocked down/but I get up again/you're never gonna keep me down."
This is not my power song, this is the anthem of my life. Let that motherfucker ring.