Monday, March 29, 2010

badonkadonk part I

I have Polish and Czechoslovakian ancestors (I promise, this is relevant).

When you think about Czech people a hundred years ago, it conjures up a lot of images.  All the female stereotypes are generally something like: a woman in an apron carrying a pig under each arm and a baby on her back while whipping up some tasty curds and whey with one hand and crushing meal into flour with the other.  I like to imagine that my ancestors lived on potatoes, milk from the goat outside, and tons of tasty fresh vegetables.  They had to walk miles and miles over hilly countryside to do things like help the babas get birthed and trade corn meal for salt licks.  Generally you were either a singing minstrel, a shepherd, or a peasant.

None of this lends towards, "Thanks, genetics, for the super thin thighs!"

Now, I made peace with my body a long time ago, so this isn't another rant.  I'm proud of my stallion legs (and even the badonkadonk) because those legs have brought me a long way.  They make hills easier (I think).  I can leg press over twice my weight.  I used to joke in college that people could set their beers down on my ass while they went to stand in the bathroom line.  And while I have wide hips, I have a pretty small waist, so men get to call me "curvy" and not piss me off.

However, it makes it pretty difficult to find shorts that I like to run in.  Generally, runners are shaped like clothes-hangers, which I am not.  When I finished college, I was in the best (?) shape of my life.  I was about 40 lbs lighter than I am right now.  In some places, I was too thin.  My arms were sticks.  You could see my ribs above my boobs.  But from my belly button to my knee caps, I was carrying that peasant ancestry around.  

When I run in shorts, no matter how thin and/or fit I am, I spend about half the time I'm running a) yanking the bottom of the shorts down from where they have been dragged upwards by my thighs and b) yanking the waistband down from where it has inched up, trying desperately to get away from my hips.  I've tried long shorts.  I've tried super short-shorts (sorry, Alexandria).  I've tried basketball shorts ('sup).  Everything moves around.  This may be part of why I love winter running, because tights can't ride up.  I've thought about spandex/booty shorts, but I don't think I could do that to the planet.  I tried on a running skirt once.  Do you know what big thighs look like in a running skirt?  HA HA HA.  

I generally run in capris in the summer and tights in the winter.  My winter running tights are CW-X, which means that it takes me 15 minutes to get them on and I'm sweating like a pig, but my legs adore them.  They are tights and have the fancy "hold things in the right place" stripes and I love them.  I have one pair and in many places, you can see right through them because they've been washed so many times (my running buddy always points this out when I wear undies with words/pictures).  I haven't tried the capri-version yet (note to self: rob bank).  

The capris that I have are either Nike or Champion or Random Yoga Brand, and they feel loose after 4 months of tights.  I went to Target last week and saw that there were some new Champion capris, so I bought two pairs.  Now, generally I don't mess around and just buy the L.  The first pair I picked up in L were MASSIVE.  The M still looked huge, so I picked a S off the rack.  (No, I don't try things on, that takes all the surprise out of life).  On the rack right next to those were a slightly different version (colors instead of grey/black), so I picked up a S.  It looked teeny-weeny, so I put it back and went home with the M.  

Got home, Saturday morning rolled around, time to run.  I pulled the pretty color capris (M) out of the bag and tried to pull them on.  "HAHAHA," said my thighs, "surely you must be joking!"  I figured I'd try on the S pair before heading back across the street to exchange them (I live about 300 yards from Target, it's dangerous).  The S pair fit perfectly.  Whhaaa??  Now, I understand that from brand to brand, sizes vary a lot, but this is two slightly different pairs of capris from the same brand. Strange.  

I edited out my stomach.  You're welcome.

Anyhow, I kept the S, ran in them, and really like them.  They are a bit low-cut, so the waistband fights a little bit with the hips, but not enough to bother me while I'm running.  They also have this cute little zip pocket that exactly fits my car key fob thing.  I'll probably go back and buy a few more pairs after my next paycheck.  Success!!

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