Monday, May 31, 2010

a visit home (it's long)(that's what she...)

I drove home Thursday afternoon to spend the early part of the weekend with my parents.  Other than a car-on-fire-no-moving-for-an-hour snafu that made the DC-Baltimore part of the trip almost 2 hours, it was a pretty easy ride.  G rode shotgun.  He doesn't like: bumps in the road, direct sunlight, and when Eminem comes on the iPod.


Thursday night we went out to a local chinese/mix restaurant, and I had my favorite Philadelphia chinese treat: Chinese Pizza (often known as Scallion Pancakes).  I have yet to find a chinese place around here that I love (and I've tried quite a few!!) and I don't think I've ever seen one with scallion pancakes.  There was one in Waldorf when I lived there, but nothing any closer.  I didn't order an entree, but I picked at my dad's pad thai and my mom's chicken with broccoli.  My mom took this picture while we were waiting for our credit card back:
Yes, I was probably twittering at the table.  Rude panda!


Thursday night I finally took my dreaded econ final.  I don't think I've ever studied so hard and ended up with such a bad grade.  Ugh.  But at least it's done, and all signs point to me passing the class, so hurrah!


Friday I decided to take a much needed rest day.  The only thing I did all day was walk the pup, and then we both needed a nap.  It was brilliant!  Friday night we went out to dinner at the Pistachio Grille.  I had the penne with chicken and sausage.  It was really interesting - there were whole pieces of chicken and sausage, but there was also chopped sausage bits in the sauce.  I think my favorite thing in there was the sauteed spinach - I picked it all out and ate it before boxing it up to come home with me.  And I usually hate leftovers, but this was good warmed up for lunch the next day.


On Saturday I went to the gym with my dad.  He belongs to LA Fitness.  He was able to bring me in on a guest pass so I didn't have to pay for the day - score!  It was a pretty standard gym - weights on the floor, cardio machines on a second floor wraparound that overlooked the main floor.  I always start my day with the one-legged Bosu squats I love so much.  I did 4x15 of those suckas on each leg, then moved to bridges on the stability ball (humpers).  I was working those/crunches, when this...GUY...walks over to me and asks, "how long have you been doing those one-legged squats like that?"  I say..."um...I dunno...a while" in a what's-your-point-here voice.  He says something like "wow, they were great.  want me to show you how to make them harder?"  Um, yes, but, wait, who are you?  Oh hi, he's the guy that heads up personal training for some of the LA Fitness's (Fitness'?  Fitnii?) in the area, and he's bored because of a no-show.  


Now, this happens in my gym sometimes (random guys talking to me about my workouts) - generally because I am, as a woman, in the minority in the free weight/scary weight machine area.  And I don't think I'm super strong or anything - I just think that the workouts I've scrapped together are different from the normal inner thigh/outer thigh/quad/bicep machine then off to the elliptical routine that most - some! - women do.  In the gym I frequent.  Not all gyms.  I am not making sweeping generalizations here.  (Pause while a bunch of women remove me from their blogroll while spitting and hissing).


This is also the kind of thing that randomly happens to me.  When I'm trying on wedding dresses?  And a guy starts talking to me about how he can change the design on my dress?  Oh, he's the guy that owns the company and started out with a sewing machine in his mom's basement and he's in DC for the line's trunk show.  WHAT.  I don't know.  Randomness follows me around.  And I got divorced so I think the word you're looking for here is ANYWAY....


Mr. Veiny Arms McFit asks me a bunch of questions about how much I work out, has me break it down into how much I lift vs. cardio, how often, for how long, etc.  Good, so I won't die from random-ness.  He brings the Bosu over the the cable machine, and has me hold a deep one-legged balancing squat on the Bosu while doing cable bicep curls.  Yeah, I like it.  He asks me what I'm planning on lifting that day - I say - legs.  He asks - want me to show you some more stuff?  Do I want some free training from someone who is super qualified?  And is live, not inside the internet?  Wait, HELL YES.  


So he gathers up a bunch of crap, cackling and rubbing his hands together evilly.  First: step-squats the length of the gym with a 10lb plate that I'm holding like I'm driving a car (I pretended to drive.  And honk.  Whatever, you would too.).  Okay, a little bit of burning here.  Then step-squats the length of the gym on my tippy toes while doing arm extensions.  Yeah, I'm sweating.  AND I LIKE IT.  Then crazy squat-jumps.  Then ridiculous reverse squats on the machine using my head.  Then combo lunge/drive-throughs with a medicine ball and a jump.  It's all hard to explain.  Every once in a while he would show me something I already do, so I'd say, nope, show me something new.  (HAHAHA I already do double leg hops SUCKA!!)  After about 30 minutes it obviously became a challenge - he was trying to find something I would die doing.  I LOVE IT HURT ME MORE PLEASES!  And he kept making comments about how strong I was - and I know that this was partly just a thing trainer guys do to make you feel better, but it made me feel awesome.  Because I'm not Hercules-woman, but I am strong, goddammit.  3 months of trying to make my IT band stronger has made ME stronger.  Funny how that works.


He ended up spending 90 minutes with me before my dad tried to drag me out of the gym by my neck.  It was a great session for many reasons.  Obviously a) I like free stuff.  But also 2) he showed me a ton of new things to add to my normal routine, many of which take me away from machine-lifting (I like this) and more into using-my-own-body lifting.  And it's all variations on a theme, but I'm so bored at the gym these days that I'll take anything different, especially things that make me feel even more muscutacular.  At the end he asked me if there was anything else (other muscles) I wanted some recommendations for, and then said, "I noticed you've got a bit of a tummy."  WOW.  How To Pick Up A Woman, Volume 1: The Direct Path To Hell.  (Pause while all the feminists unfollow me.)  I DO have a bit of a tummy, thankyouverymuch, but I've lost almost 20 lbs in the past 4 months and because of mean awesome Heather I am freakin' working on my abs in particular right now and have you ever even MET a woman before?  My ego says, "OUCH I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS HERE."


But in all seriouslyness, it's kind of awesome to work with someone who isn't afraid to point out the things you should work on, even if gurrl can't even SPELL tact (t-a-c-t.).  So I told him what I was already doing and he showed me a few things and the last thing, the very last one, I can't do, and he danced a little jig.  It involved laying on a bench holding on with my hands over/behind my head, tucking my feet to my butt, and then using my abs to lift my ass up over my head.  No momentum, no straightening the legs.  Now, let's face it, I am carrying quite a bit of junk back there in my trunk.  I'll be able to park my bike without a kickstand when I stop for water.  And this may be the best part of the session.  He says, "Yup, this one is going to be hard for you, because you've got a black girl butt."  (Pause while a bunch more offended people unfollow and/or send me nasty comments about THIS IS AMERICA YOU KNOW).  You see, I was just outside Philly, and a comment like that is essentially akin to a marriage proposal.  You cannot compliment someone more highly.  Go Katie Go Katie Go.  


My dad basically laughed his ass off when I told him how I got dragged into a seriously awesome training session, because, well, he raised me.  He knows I'm off the ridiculous scale.  So he took me home, I picked up G, and he got a pawdicure (so cute) for the first time.
How hilarious is this face?
Also, he got a new toy.


My grandparents came over Saturday night for dinner on the grill (yum!) and then I went out with some HS friends to drink beer and cuss at the Flyers as they skated around with their heads up their sweet tight asses.  Sunday morning I got up pretty early and headed back to VA.  G decided that the bumps were too much to handle and wanted to ride in my lap, but he weighs 70lbs and it's a SMALL car.
He is laying with his butt in the passenger seat, his middle over the console, his head and front feet on my lap.


(Pause while all the humane-animal people unfollow me, report me to local authorities, etc.)


Tomorrow: speedwork, BBQ, bike shopping, and more!  I hope everyone had a wonderful, memorable weekend.

5 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahaha! LOVED this post! A bit of everything!
    Free gym session - so jealous! I have my hubbs to show me some moves but we always end up trying to one up one another and in a fight :)
    G is soooo cute! Love the pawducure pic!
    And hanging with the grandparents...you are wild and crazy!

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  2. Hahahahahaha! I have a black girl butt too! I lost it for a little while running, but it's mostly back now. I didn't appreciate it until I lost it for a flat, kind of saggy white girl one. What good is that?
    But lucky you with the trainer! That's awesome!

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  3. You are HILARIOUS. And hurting is why I love PT! Make me hurt! Test my skillz! And um... I also get the "you have a huge booty" comment from strangers.

    Sidenote: how's that IT band doing? Any more pain? How are the runs?

    And lastly: my trainer has given me some wicked core exercises. My entire core BURNS when I run now.

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  4. OMG, I LOVED this post. Show me somma that shizz.

    ReplyDelete

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