what the effing eff? what the effing eff?

I'm going to hold off on my weekend blog post until tomorrow because I really just need to say: W.  T.  F.


Confession time: I scheduled an appointment with my ortho this morning about a week and a half ago, because I had decided to have surgery.  There, I said it.  DECIDED.  I was fed up with the pain and the not being able to run, and would rather just be down for a while and then good to go.  I had a pleasant little vision of me running through a nice field of daises or some crap.


Now.  That said.  I decided that since I was going to have surgery, I was just going to run and oh well TOO BAD SO SAD on YOU, Mr. IT band.  Might as well blow it up since he's going to fix it, right? (This is logic at its finest).  I've still been lifting and foam rolling and icing and crosstraining and stretching like crazy, because, well, I'm not a HUGE fan of little stabby pain.  


Friday at the gym, I managed 2 minutes walk/4 minutes run enough times to get in 4.6 miles in 50 minutes.  That's hella slow BUT.  Lots of tightness.no.pain.  This morning, I ran 2 miles in 18:00, no stops to stretch, no nothing.  And there were no foam rollers upstairs so I didn't even do that beforehand, just a little stretching and off I went.  Again, tight, but no.pain.at.all.


Is this recovery?  Is this just a fluke?  2 tight-but-pain-free runs does not equal recovery.  And I feel like I am Little Miss Frustrated, because I've dealt with this injury for so long on the other side.  But this doesn't make sense.  I do NOT want to have surgery if I'm healing.  But I don't want to put it off another month if I'm not.  GAHH.


And of course now I have to go see Dr. P, and say, "Well, I had decided, but now I DON'T KNOW," and he's going to bang his head against the table.


Oh peanut gallery, what do I do?