Little Miss Molly.
Also, the verdict from the fabulous Dr. P:
Lower back strain, to the point that it's pulling my spine down (it was CURVED on the xray!) and all my hip bits up. He put me on super steroids and said I need e-stim + heat, so off to PT I go. After a day of steroids, I feel maybe 5% better, so I'm hopeful. More of an update tomorrow after today's PT session.