Monday, March 21, 2011

happy birthday, little blog



Yesterday marks the one-year point since the first post on this blog (which was unbelievably lame, but I think that's how a lot of things start out in life).  When I started it, I just wanted to have a voice in the community of runners that already existed.  A way to pipe up and chime in, instead of just standing outside with my face pressed up against the window.  Look what that little voice has become.
A year later, I think this blog has lived up to its name (although recently I have considered changing it to "injured this amazing day").  A great deal of it IS about running.  But I'm also hoping it is living up to the other half: being thankful for this - for every - amazing day.
There isn't much I don't write about.  A great deal of it has, oddly enough, been about running.  More has been about recovering from injury, and the ups and downs that come with training.  A lot has been about triumph.  I finished a triathlon.  I ran again after surgery.  I survived an open water swim, and 100 miles on a bike, and set a PR for this first time in 3 years.  And then another one.  And another.  I celebrated a year in races.  I discovered that I may be built for cycling, and saw the sun come up over the Potomac more times than I can remember.  And my personal journey took many huge steps forward, with tons of new friendships, a new puppy, and a surprise wedding.  I gave up red meat, then most meat, and moved to a more protein-based diet.  I discovered that I loved to cook, despite the fact that at least 50% of my cooking experiments have been total disasters.  I've only set fire to the stove once.
But a great deal of this blog has been about struggle.  About struggling my way through some pretty dark times, about what it feels like to get down on your belly and slog through the really ugly parts of your life.  And that's why I've decided to write this post, because as much as it's ironic that I'm trapped in bed a year later, waiting to heal, it's this kind of stuff that makes me the person that I am, and the blog the journey it has been.  I could probably link back to at least 20 posts where I talk about this, about the raw emotional bumps that come along with being injured and unable to reach the goals I set for myself.  But this means I also get to talk about why the fight is worth it.  Sometimes I need to remind myself of that, right now more than ever.
My very first favorite post dealt with this struggle.  It was kicked off by a twitter conversation about why we run.  It made me think about why I run, why I continue to battle against something my body very clearly is not happy about.  But more importantly, it was about not returning to a place where I've given up.  Because I've given up before, and I will not go back.  
And that's why I live, why I love, while I'll never stop fighting.  I thank you, God, for most this amazing day.  And I thank all of you guys, for a year most amazing, for giving me a place to twist and grow towards the sun, for the times you've reached out to support me, for the amazing friendships I've made that I know I'll have for life, for the times when I've been surprised by how much this feels like a great big crazy family.  That's a big part of the reason why it's different this time around, why I haven't given up.  Because of all of you, and your kindness and humor and wit and the way that you will not let me give up, no matter how badly I am hurting.
Oh, and this?  I'll be there on Saturday.  I'll get dressed and fueled up, and I'll drive to RFK and park and find my friends and shiver and stamp my feet nervously.  I don't know how far I'll make it.  I might run 2 steps and have to stop.  I might make it only a mile, or 2.  I might finish but just inside the 15:00 minute/mile pace cutoff that exists for the course when most people are long gone, or I might not even finish at all.  But I will be there.  I will not slink off and hide, I will thrash and kick and yell every step of the way.  I will not stop fighting.

31 comments:

  1. Fantastic post, Katie!I feel like I have been following you forever--can't believe it's only a year. You have had SUCH a year! And your spirit is amazing and inspiring. Keep it up and keep sharing it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, this post makes me so, so happy! It's good to hear your voice again (even though I saw you yesterday). Can't wait to be out there fighting with you on Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with MissZ, I can't believe it's only been a year! Great post with many, many more to come! :) See you Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this. And I love you, my strong and determined friend. The struggle IS worth it. To prove to yourself that you are alive and to celebrate each day with that fight and grit. Some days are harder than others, but you get through them all. And I'm here for you throughout the way--if you need to cry or complain, I'm here. I am so very proud of you, no matter what the result next weekend. You will get back on your feet, and you'll run your little heart out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And you've come through to the other side. Isn't it funny how the mental battle (that pit of despair when you're hurting) is so much tougher than the physical?

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is amazing. Spoken like a true athlete. You definitely inspire the rest of us!

    You said last week that you might have trouble with this post, but I think everything that has happened/is happening makes it much more powerful. I hope the act of writing it and pointing to all the ups and downs was as meaningful for you as it is to your readers! I'm relatively new here, and now I want to go back and start from the beginning :)

    See you Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congrats to you and your blog! I'll see you on Saturday!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. happy birthday blog! seriously, i had no idea that it was just a year old. you're such a pro...at telling it like it is and inspiring me with your honesty. love LOVE your words!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Amazingness! I am so excited to see you at the start line with us, and I'm thankful for whatever twisted journey it was that brought our group together! Happy blogiversary!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well written post...I'm wishing you a speedy recovery. I'll be there Saturday and it would be great to meet you!

    P.S. - Happy Birthday to your blog! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Happy blogaversary! Good luck on Saturday, I'm so happy to see this post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great post Katie! Congratulations on blogging for a year! The fact that you're not totally bagging this race is such a testament to your athleticism. I'll be praying for you this week for a strong finish!

    ReplyDelete
  13. A year later and I'm so thankful you stuck with it, the blogging and the running (even if it's been a struggle and then some) I'm so thankful to have you in my life and I can't wait to meet you in 4 weeks!!! Whatever happens at National I'll be thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What an amazing post, but that is to be expected from an amazing blog. Good luck on Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
  15. im so happy you're back! i wish i had known you when you first started your blog but at least I know you now.

    you are the most determined person i know and i love you for it! you WILL get to that start line this weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy anniversary! I'm so happy to hear that you will be there on Saturday and I hope that we can still attempt to start together.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy Birthday to your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  18. What an amazing year!!! So many meaningful events happened! I'm so glad to have found your blog and wishing you a very happy first blogiversary!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Glad you hear you are not giving up the fight! What a great year of blogging! You are so tough, good luck on Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congratulations on your blog, it's been great to read! Hope to see you Saturday, and I'll be happy to run alongside and cheer you on!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love this! I recently started reading your blog and I clicked a bunch of those links today. You are a very thoughtful writer and I enjoyed reading all your old posts. Look forward to reading more. :) And enjoy the puppy pictures. Click over if you wanna see a cute basset hound.
    I hope you are able to run and/or walk your half this weekend! I'll be thinking about you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AWESOME POST! So inspiring and good luck whether you run the whole thing or crawl through the finish line. This year already seems like a laundry list of accomplishments for you!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Congratulations on each step, stitch, laugh, piece of puppy hair, and more that you have experienced in the past year!

    Best wishes always each moment of each amazing day for you and for all!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Happy Blog Birthday! I have everything crossed that your body cooperates on Saturday and that you get to finish way ahead of me!

    ReplyDelete
  25. My first post was totally lame too!

    You have accomplished so much- I only recently started reading, but I love your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  26. It's definately about the journey - and you ARE riding the wave and THAT is success!

    ReplyDelete
  27. This was one of the most beautiful posts you have written. You have such a way with words, and I'm so lucky that I have been able to follow you through this journey. You are beyond strong, you're amazing, kind and beautiful. I know that what ever happens this weekend, you will be right where you're suppossed to be doing exactly what you're suppossed to do. Love you to pieces!

    ReplyDelete

COMMENTS. ARE. LOVE!