how to get this life
Usually Wednesday is "wordless" for me - but not today.
A few weeks ago, I got this email from a dear old friend of mine (I don't think he reads the blog - but hopefully he won't mind):
So, let me get this straight...you're all skinny & hot & bicycling & motorcycling & happy?
All this while I'm fat, out of shape, stuck in a loveless relationship & miserable? How do I get YOUR life? :)
Looking good girl. Hope all is well...."
I know I've talked about this before, and I also know that many of us have been there. All those words he uses to describe his life have all described my life at some point - and all at once, during a really dark time in 2009. I remember being married, feeling trapped in a loveless relationship. I also remember very clearly being able to see what my life would look like on the other side, when I was out of it and happy. The problem, for me, was figuring out how to get through. The only person that could decide to do it was me - despite the incredible amount of support I had from my friends. No one could do it for me, and that, I think, is the hardest thing about changing your life. There is no magic pill. There is no easy way. NO ONE can do it for you. You have to gut down and belly crawl through those really dark days, eyes shut tight, not even knowing if you're headed in the right direction, only knowing that you couldn't sit for one more minute and let your life rot away.
But that's not what my friend wants to hear. He's a good friend, an old friend, but like many people I know, he is content to complain about the state of his life, because it's comfortable. Staying the same isn't difficult. Complaining is easy - we all do it, all the time! I remember spending a lot of time complaining about my marriage, about my injuries, about working 2 jobs, about how tough my life was. But I remember the moment I woke up and decided to end my marriage, because it was making us both unhappy, and there was no going back. I remember the moment I decided to quit one job and leap fearlessly at the second, not knowing if I could do it, or if it would last, or if it was even right for me. And I remember ALL of the moments that I've decided to not let injury drag me down, but instead look for new ways to stay in motion.
Changing your life isn't easy. Living my life now isn't always easy - but boy, is it fun. I spend a lot of time being amazed and thankful for all the reasons I have to be glad to be alive. I woke up this morning next to a sweet man who runs at life just as fast as I do. I spent 2 hours cycling and then took the puppy for a walk. And it would have been so much easier to stay in bed, to be lazy and snuggle down under the covers because work doesn't really get going very early due to all the west coasters. But instead I went out and greeted the sun and the wind and spent time with a friend and my sweet baby Graham, and my life is richer and fuller for it.
So, to my friend, I say, with all the love in my heart: get off your fat ass and change your life. A lot of it will be hard. But the hardest part will be deciding to do it. I'll be there to help you whenever you need it, and I'll be so glad for the day when you can wake up and be thankful for your life. I can promise you this - it's worth it.