the blahs

I have a pretty serious case of the blahs.


I'm 100% sure that it's because of where I am in recovery and it will pass once I can do more than 10 minutes on the spin bike at a barely-moving pace and don't have to swim (or make an attempt to get to the pool) every day.  But for now, the blahs.  I've been absolutely maximizing the lifting that I am able to do, but I haven't had a really good hard long sweat since before surgery.  


Last night I moped around, procrastinating going swimming.  Put my suit on then flopped on the bed.  Whined whined whined the whole time we were driving there.  And then, in the locker room, when I pulled my swim cap on, it exploded off my head.  And I leapt at the chance to let the universe tell me that I shouldn't get in the pool.  So we sat in the hot tub - recovering leg propped up on the side - and chatted for 10-15 minutes, then went to Sports Authority to buy a new cap and went home.  


I actually don't even mind swimming that much anymore, in some ways I really enjoy it, but I always have that moment, standing dry on the side of the pool, where my brain goes, "NO.  WATER IS COLD AND BAD.  GO FIND YOUR JAMMIES AND A COOKIE."  And usually I just slide into the pool and ignore it, and by the time I'm done with the first 100 yards I am starting to get warm and I'm happy I'm moving.  Last night that just wasn't in the cards for me.  


I spent some time this weekend with Mr. Smooth, and doing some reading about how to make my swimming better, since it's all I can do right now, but I miss the swim/bike/run attempt rotation that I've had going on all summer.   I need the variety.


I tried to write about it yesterday, but when I'm blah, it's hard to make the words happen.  Internet, I feel blah.  What should I do?