1. I was supposed to race this weekend.
My birthday is coming up, and last year's birthday race is still lingering, a bad taste in my mouth. I picked out a new distance so I could not be stressed about the numbers and just have fun, but it isn't in the cards for me. The amount of stress that I've been under and the level of anxiety I've been carrying around in my life has intensified so much over the past few weeks that I haven't even been able to train. It's been interesting to see how stress has affected my motivation, my data, my heart rate, all of those things, but I hope I don't ever go through this experiment again. Sonja recommended bagging the race a few days ago, and I whined and complained and then asked if I could switch to the sprint (yes) but when I woke up this morning, my heart was just not in it. So I'm calling it now. No race for me.
2. That said, some more big changes have happened in my life this week. This time they were my choices, and I am confident in the decisions I have made. Over the life of this blog, I've made it a particular habit to never discuss the specifics of my professional life (and there are folks that should be pretty happy about this habit), and I'm not going to start now. I will say that it's become more and more important to me to be working in a place where I agree with the vision and the direction and the execution, and now I will be doing so. I may not have quite figured out exactly what I want to be when I grow up, but the work that I will doing, the life I have put together from a small handful of pieces, each piece is a place where I will be able to grow, to be nurtured and flourish and, more importantly, be excited about the work that is being done. A huge weight has been lifted, and the data junkie in me has spent the past two days watching my body heal.
3. Since I'm not racing, I can say in a public place without getting in trouble that I've got some fun activities lined up for this weekend. I'm taking a trapeze class tonight, I'll spend some time on two wheels talking non-stop while laughing and snorting Gu up my nose and then cupcake tour round two will take place later in the weekend. I hope to gain at least 12lbs and wake up on Monday morning in a dumpster, hungover, wearing my helmet, missing one shoe and with frosting in my hair. Happy birthday, bitches.
4. I asked/begged for a birthday set of 100x100, because while I've done 10K in my life, it's never been as hundreds. However, going along with the "listening to my body" crazy lunatic way I've been making decisions lately, it's probably not in my best interest to do this after not being in the pool for a week. So I am thinking about doing a November (Veteran's Day? Birthday +1?) version. If you're interested in joining me, drop me a comment or an email and I'll put you on the massive list of people that I'm trying to drag into my crazy. I'm tentatively thinking about the weekend of Nov 3-4 but am wide open to ideas that don't include the day of the Richmond Marathon, because I'll be in my sparkle cheer pants that day, hollering for some of my favorite ladies.
Happy Friday, puppy lovers and friends!