run this amazing day

I was really pleased to find that my ugly Monday post generated a lot of great discussion, both on- and off-line.   Many both people that read my blog have commented, both this week and in the past, that part of the reason why they like reading is because I'm very honest about my life.  It's been described as "raw," and I don't find anything wrong with that.  The problem with being open and honest and raw, though, is that it works against me in situations like this.  Maybe if I wasn't sharing every detail of my life with an audience, there would be less stress placed on me by myself.  Huge food for thought.  I've been blogging for a few years now, and there are parts of it that I love.  There are people that I've met that I otherwise never would have known, very good friends that I've made, experiences that I would have missed out on, all that grew from sticking my nose (ass?) out onto the internet and telling my little story.   But since we&#

It's dangerous to leave guns in the pool.

I dumped my blog into one of those word things last night, as part of trying to get my shit together.   Posted otherwise without comment.

I've been reading a lot lately about the mental aspect of training lately, just about everything I can get my grubby little hands on.  I used to think, "oh, I don't need mental training, I don't have problems motivating," but as it turns out, that's a bunch of crap.  A lot of it is about fear and pressure.  Failure.  Why we reach out and grab onto anything we can that takes that fear away.  And it's made me think about where I feel it, what I'm actually afraid of, and face some pretty uncomfortable truths.  I don't really want to write about it.  I don't even really want to THINK about it, it's awkward and I really hate awkward.  But I've been having a hard time lately, especially with what's going on in my head and with some of my training-partners-turned-friends-turned-training-partners.  So bear with me. Even before I was an endurance athlete, I had things in my life to go after, and I would go after them like a wild woman, gr